A Guest Post by Kathryn Magendie
Before I was published, whenever I’d read about an author who wrote a book and never wrote another one, I’d say, “If I had the chance, I sure wouldn’t be hesitating. I’d sure be writing to beat the band!” I simply couldn’t understand why a writer who had the chance to have his/her next book published would not jump on that chance with all the glee and energy and writing writer write they had, especially if that book was a success.
Until my own books were published. Then came the understanding of how fear plays such a part in this business.
An artist and I were in a conversation about not letting the negativity get in the way of creativity. I said to the artist how we have to have the dark and the light in our work, but we have to make sure the dark is not someone else’s shadow. Much of what you hear after you publish your book is Everyone Else’s Opinion—if you are not careful, you begin to listen to too many voices/opinions. Finding a way to separate the “should not listen to” versus the “this will help me in my journey” is a difficult one.
After my first book, Tender Graces, was released, I woke up with anxiety so fierce that my stomach tied in a snarl of knots. Fear of what someone may say about my work. That I’d disappoint readers. That faded as time went by, because I stomped over it—how else could I go back to work? But it came again with the release of the Secret Graces, and then with Sweetie. Will people still love me and my characters? Did I do okay? Are my words reaching anyone? Will I be loved?
My friends, I understand why some writers do not write that second book. An author can become paralyzed with fear. That fear can permeate and penetrate and become so prevalent that creativity is stifled. Imagine writing a book and being compared to other writers—but—imagine writing a book and being compared to yourself! Harper Lee, Stephen King, Oscar Wilde, Gail Godwin, Ralph Ellison, Margaret Mitchell, Elizabeth Berg—all have one thing in common: they wrote a book. What they don’t have in common is some went on to write more and others never wrote another book, or at least one that we know about.
If I had not stomped over my fears, skirted around the dark that is someone else’s shadow, ignored my terror, more work would not have come to me and then to readers. Writers and artists and singers and dancers and actors—all those whose work is out for public consumption and review and deliberation—must find a way to stop the: “I have to be loved by everyone. My work must be adored by everyone. I am afraid of what will happen. I am afraid of success/failure/mediocrity.” And instead, we must do what we love and do it the best we can and do it with love and hope and strength and honesty.
Of course, we must also do it in a way that sells, don’t forget that. Art aside, love of books and reading and writing aside, it has to be deconstructed into the business side of things as well. Heart and Brain go hand in hand in this business. What a terrifyingly fascinatingly wonderful business!
Am I still worried about the books I write to be released into the hands of readers? Well, yes. But am I letting that stop me? No. Step out from that shadow and show yourself. Be brave and hearty in whatever you love to do. How will you know what you can create until the creating is accomplished?
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Kathryn Magendie is the author of Tender Graces, Secret Graces, and Sweetie. Her novella Petey will be released in the anthology The Firefly Dance along with authors Sarah Addison Allen and Augusta Trobaugh in July 2011. Her final Graces novel will be released fall 2011. Visit her at www.kathrynmagendie.com, www.tendergraces.blogspot.com, follow her on twitter @katmagendie, or on Facebook at Kathryn.magendie
If I may, I’m going to copy out that line — “Step out from that shadow and show yourself.” — and put it up on the wall in front of my writing desk. If ever anyone needed that advice, I do. Thank you again, Kathryn.
Hi Kat! Nice to see you here. Great post. I’ve not even finished my first book, and already experiencing the darkness that is someone else’s shadow. There are those who want me to do it (only) their way; and those who think I’m wasting my time. It took me a while to figure out I should listen to neither.
I like your comparison: “‘should not listen to’ versus the ‘this will help me in my journey’”. I now know how to tune in to the latter. The reinforcing energy of helpfulness and true generosity encourages rather than causes doubts.
Thanks William for having Kat. Wishing you both a happy and safe holiday!
Great post, Kat. I feel that fear every time I sit down to write anything, story, blog post, or book chapter. I hope to know what it’s like once the first book is published. But it’s wonderful to know you are out there to remind me to “step out from that shadow” when it does happen. (I’m trying to be positive here.)
Thank you, William for inviting me to your wonderful blog – *smiling*
And hello to you both Cathryn and Sandra . . . write. write. write.
Hello Darrelyn! So glad you came by . . . sometimes it’s hard to stay positive in this business – putting things into a bigger perspective helps – that and a vodka tonic with lime
Hi, Kat!
I’m struggling through all those fears right now as I wait for Miserere’s publication and I’m working on my next novel.
You are such an inspiration to me! Thank you so much for this post.
Teresa – *smiling so very warmly* – I can’t wait to receive my copy of Miserere!
It’s the strangest sensation to read a post and feel like the author has climbed inside my head and stepping upon all my own questions, fears, and anxieties snapping snarling in a frenetic jumble! “…the dark of someone else’s shadow,” is an all too easy condition to fall to if we lose perspective of the true purpose and reasoning behind why we write. A wise and wonderful post — the sort of gem we print out and read now and again at those times when we forget — and boy oh boy, but we do forget.
I think that the fear continues to exist, but we do things despite it. At least I do – or I’d never get anything done at all!!
Barbara – I hope stomp around in everyone’s head! *laughing* – okay, not everyone, but lots of peoples – and maybe not stomp -maybe just saunter …
Amy – that is so true!