My name is Bill, and I am a nerd-jock. I’m a trekkie and a pro-football fanatic. I write fantasy, and coach high school football. In what little free time I have I oscillate between episodes of Star Trek on Netflix and game highlights from previous seasons on NFL.com.

Is this right? Should I see a doctor? As you could see from my last post, I keep a pretty busy schedule day in and day out. When I have a little time I grab my iPad and go right to the web. I do not pass go and I do not collect 200 dollars. No other entertainment gets a fair shot. It’s sci-fi or football. Not football movies, mind you–football. Football movies tend to be pretty horrible (See Any Given Sunday).

Perhaps I need some sort of cultural experience in my media intake. Like an obligatory episode of CSI: Somewhere once a week. Or something on the Food Network because there must be some social code against this.

Please, please send help before I start referring to football helmets as shields, the speed of Titans Running Back Chris Johnson in terms of warp factor, or throwing yellow hankies at the screen whenever Seven-of-nine or T’Pol appear to penalize them fifteen yards for unsportsmanlike wardrobes.

Not mad at ya, T’Pol. But that will be a 15-yard penalty.

Please, please send help.